I just threw up on my dentist
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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