And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Randomize
