You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is it because I queefed?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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