READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
