Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
