member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
