In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
