I need help removing her.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
