i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize