u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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