What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
