Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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