his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
