If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
