Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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