Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize