I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
