The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
