Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
