Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
