I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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