Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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