dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
