if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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