love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
