Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
