i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
