there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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