So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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