They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
