You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
