I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
