I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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