i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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