do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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