After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
