So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
