Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
