He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
