We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
