Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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