I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this boner is exhausting
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
