R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
