Can i not drive my cunt home
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
