How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize