): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
