We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
