I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
