you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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