I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
