If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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