my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
