hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
