You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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