3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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