It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
