clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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