Umm I'm too high to move.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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