I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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