how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize