it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
