Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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